Jackie & Phoenix

We had a great day today. Yoav slept 10.75 hrs and I was in bed for 8.5hrs!

We mostly played with playsilks (making a cape and wings to help Yoav fly) and did some knitting in the morning.

Around 2pm, Yoav started to get a bit stir crazy, so I called Jackie and we agreed to meet in the Park in an hour. It was SO nice to be able to just go out and see friends. Yoav and Phoenix have an odd relationship, though. They kind of torment eachother. They don't really seem to enjoy it as it's happening, but Jackie and I repeatedly remind them that they can say stop if they want it to end and they rarely do, plus they actually get close to one another and start doing something to bother the other one to get it started!

Also, it's so much fun to listen to them discuss solutions to problems. Like Yoav will ask to play with something and P will say no and Yoav will ask if he can play with it soon or if they can trade or whatnot and the two of them come up with something. Not that they always find a solution, but it's amazing to hear how they discuss the situations whether or not they come up with a mutually acceptable solution.

Anyway, it was a beautiful day out with wonderful friends. Yoav and Phoenix spent a lot of time digging in the dirt with Phoenix's metal trucks. I have some pics I'll load up later.

One thing that came up at the end that was eye-opening for me. Yoav was upset because originally he and Phoenix were going to trade bikes again, but then Phoenix changed his mind. Yoav was really really upset as Jackie and Phoenix were leaving (I told them to leave because Phoenix's father was home waiting for him and Yoav seemed too upset to be able to leave soon). Yoav kept asking me to ask Phoenix if they could trade bikes. I did already twice and didn't want to ask again. Then I came up with the idea of switching just until we got to the street and then switching to their own bikes. This worked for both kids. It was eye-opening to me because I try *not* to offer solutions both to empower Yoav and also b/c he usually doesn't want my help when he's tantruming - he just wants me to be Present. I think, though, that the no-help applies when he's crying about lots of injustices of the day and not really about the issue at hand. But if, like today, he's actually upset about a specific situation, and he can't come up with a solution (or hasn't in the time available), then maybe he's open to my ideas and even glad to have them.

Playing with Phoenix

I'm stealing this as my blog post for today :)

Jackie's Blog Post for Aug 18

Rita's Pool Party

We went to a pool party at Aunt Rita's today. No time to write much, but there were two funny scenes.

Sharing:
Yoav and Cousin J were playing with cars and blocks in the basement. Cousin J had three little orange cars. Yoav said, "Orange is my favorite color. Can I play with one of those?" Cousin J said, "No, I'm using them." Yoav said, "Oh, OK, don't give me one then." and went off happily to play with something else. A few minutes later, Cousin J came to scope out what Yoav was playing with. Yoav said, "Do you want to play with something? You can play with anything except these cars on the fire truck (he had put a few cars on top of a fire truck)." Cousin J saw a purple car on the fire truck (one of the ones Yoav had said he didn't want to share) and said, "Can I play with the purple guy?" Yoav said, "Oh, ok. Here you go." and handed it to him. Yoav is unbelievable when it comes to sharing. He never ceases to amaze me in that regard.

Another funny story - later in the day, an older cousin (6 yrs old) was pulling on the little blow up boat Yoav was in. Yoav told him to stop, he didn't, then Yoav said, "You can play with it when I'm done, or you can play with that other boat over there, or..." I think the other kid just swam away when the monologue started LOL. I love hearing all of Yoav's ideas and how he gives "options" to people.

Oh, one other really funny thing. He was talking about Leila, his current love. Uncle Dan said to him, "Oh, you like Leila?" Yoav said, "I *love* her." Dan said, "You want to marry her?" Yoav said, "Yes." Dan said, "Are you going to ask her?" Yoav said, "Ima-ma is going to ask her for me."

Elie's 4th Tooth

Elie's upper left tooth cut through today.

A Day of Cooking

I posted this a few days ago on AlwaysUnschooled:

I know theoretically this is a good thing to be encouraged, but DS, 3.75yo, wants to do so much by himself, it's becoming overwhelmingly exhausting for me, esp with an 8mos baby in tow. It wouldn't be so frustrating except that he gets upset if *I* do any of the things he wants to do. For instance, this morning we made breakfast for him, which was spinach and oatmeal. For the spinach, he took the spinach out of the fridge, poured the oil in the pan, turned the burner on, put a few leaves on and then got nervous when they crackled and let me do the rest, he stirred the leaves, he told me what type of plate and wanted, he chose the fork, and I got to put the cooked spinach on the plate. For the oatmeal, he did everything and told me what bowl to use and he picked the spoon.

I'm having a really hard time dealing with the fact that he gets upset with me when I do anything. For example, I initially measured the water for the oatmeal and he got upset and said he wanted to do it. He was ok with me dumping the water so he could do it, but sometimes he just gets upset and says he wants to do it but he doesn't want me to dump the water. He basically just wants me to forsee all the things he wants to do and ask him to do them. I don't understand why he is being so controlling about this. I feel like I give him so much freedom - we don't have limits, I don't say no, I use NVC and other means of consensual conflict resolution, but I always assume that a child is modeling what he's seeing...

So I guess I'm wondering if the controlling nature of this is due to parenting or just an age thing, and, either way, how can I help him to be more flexible or maybe if I just keep encouraging and helping, it will happen naturally.

TIA for any thoughts!

--Emily
____________________________________

I got a few good responses, which basically said to remain patient, ask him before I do any cooking to see what parts he wants to do and in a few years, I'll be kicking back on the couch while he cooks for me :)

In the spirit of that, we started some afternoon cooking yesterday. Yesterday we made a delicious carrot cake out of the "Waldorf Kindergarten Snack Book".

Today we are making Minestrone Soup from Nourishing Traditions and a yeasted bread from the Waldorf book. It all went fairly well. I need to get a recycled plastic rug or something for the kitchen so I can put it down under the little table that we use for prep. That way I can just lift it up and clean it when we're done. Today we got flour in the cracks of the kitchen floor.

Yoav is so kooky when he cooks. When he was putting the sliced carrots into the soup pot, he did it one slice at a time and each time, he sort of skipped over to his chair by the stove, dropped the carrot slice in, jumped off the chair with a laugh and came back around to the prep table.

I also want to get a grain mill so we can use freshly ground flour.

I have a few pics that I'll post tonight.

Oatmeal & Spinach

Yoav asked for oatmeal and spinach for breakfast. ;)

So now he's eating a fried egg, by request. And he ate all his spinach and most of the oatmeal.

New Tooth + Knitting Split Crotch Pants

Elie got a new tooth today (3rd) - it's his top right.

So I've just started my first knitting project since Elie was born 8 months ago. I'm making a pair of split crotch pants for him. I ordered 16 skeins of yarn through a Purewool coop. A few I got dyed and a bunch white so I could try self-dying with kool aid. This first pair I'm just going to leave white so they match everything in case I only manage to make one pair and just so I can get started right away.

I just got a few of the Mamaroo split crotch pants and am really enjoying them for EC since I don't even have to unsnap trainers. These should look about the same. It's a pattern designed by the woman who owns The EC Store.

Yoav's First Pizza

We had a great day today. Elie woke up at 7:30, but Yoav didn't wake up until 9AM (12 hours sleep!) so he was in a really good mood.

We went to breakfast at our new local fave, Applewood. I got the french toast, Jer eggs and Yoav got oatmeal (and ate it all). Oatmeal is one of the tried and true for him.

After breakfast, we hung out in the backyard for an hour or so, basking in the glory of our amazing garden :)

Then we went on a trip out to Midwood to check it out. There are a lot of kosher and Israeli stores and restaurants there so we've been wanting to go for a while. We ended up going for pizza at a place that's been rated the best in New York City! It's called di Fara's. We got two pieces without cheese and Yoav devoured them! He ate one and a half pieces! He doesn't even like tomatoes! I couldn't believe he ate it. He usually won't eat sauce on anything. He does seem to be slowly becoming a better eater. He loves the chard out of the garden (and had some today) and has a pretty good repertoire of healthy foods now (oatmeal, figs, almonds, spinach, chard, chicken fingers).. I haven't found a new source of organic chicken liver, so I haven't made him chicken liver since we moved to Brooklyn :( But he eats a lot of figs and chard and spinach, so I think he's getting enough iron.

Oh, also, Yoav used the word "well" properly today. He said to Jeremy, "See how well you can cut the pizza with the fork." (or something like that - the well part is how he said it). I was surprised to hear him use the word properly since I often hear adults get mixed up with good/well.

Elie pulling up

Elie's been pulling up onto small chairs for a while now, but just today he pulled up to the second shelf of our bookcase and pulled out a book :( Great for development, bad for the space situation in our apartment - we'll have to move the books from the second shelf to somewhere else. I think I'll look into wall shelving for the hallway to put books. I actually want to get an upright piano for where the bookcases are after hearing Aldort talk tonight about "Raising a Musical Child". It was a telecall that I set up.

We also harvested strawberries today!!! I think we harvested too soon. They're Alpine strawberries. They were a little tart today. I'm hoping if we leave them growing for a few more days they'll be juicier. But they look great :)

Park Slope Food Coop

We finally joined the Coop! We went shopping today for the first time and it was AMAZING! All produce is no more than 48 hours from getting picked (according to our orientation guide). And prices are marked up 21% from wholesale, so MUCH cheaper than anywhere else AND much better quality. Like produce at Whole Foods is irradiated and this isn't.

Yoav is SO uncool about girls. Today we saw four girls and as they were coming toward us (with two moms), he said, "Mom, GIRLS!" As they got closer, he said, "There's three girls!" Then he saw that there was one more walking behind a stroller and he said, "One more!! Mommy, there's four!!! Four girls!!!" And then (as if that's not enough!) he stood watching them for a few minutes with his jaw down to the ground as they said their goodbyes.