The day was filled with coloring, cars/blocks/train tracks, reading, eating and a one hour bath!
We ate a few items from our CSA this week - we got a lot of variety but not much of a few of the items so I cooked a few for lunch - we had corn, eggplant and some husk cherries for lunch. Turns out Yoav is allergic to nightshade veggies. He reacted to both the hust cherries (which are a form of tomato) and the eggplant.
I found out at my mom's house that he's got a sensitivity to tomatoes - he ate quite a lot of cherry tomatoes and got a rash around his mouth - no hives, just a red rash - looked the same as when he gets hives, just that there were no actual hives. We eat Israeli salad a lot w/ cucumbers and tomatoes and he definitely eats some raw tomatoes and he's been ok but I guess just the amount that he had was too much or actually could just be that he's had enough in his system that only now is he showing a reaction. Today it was confirmed b/c he ate some of the husk cherries and had the same reaction. bummer.
So tomatoes are in the nightshade family and when I told my NAET practitioner about the tomato reaction, he said it could be nightshade.
Today ALSO (very odd that after months of nothing new - last was soy, we had two new reations today), I made eggplant for lunch and he reacted to that the same way as the tomato - no hives, just redness. He's had eggplant before, too, but usually I put it in food and I also didn't broil it enough today b/c I was afraid I'd burn it and even though I like it a little crunchy I don't like Yoav to eat anything that's at all charred. Anyway, so it was less cooked than he's ever had it before, and it was also from our CSA, so it was fresher than any we've had before which could be a factor.
I read that with the nightshades, the issue is alkaloids, which are reduced 40-50% with cooking, so I guess Yoav is fine as long as they're cooked and since it wasn't hives and didn't last long, and we have so few foods left we can eat, I'm not going to worry about it - I guess he can do without eggplant, but I do a lot of tomato based cooking...
Potatoes are also nightshade, but he's eaten a lot of potato, always cooked of course, w/ no problem - probably because you always cook potato and he's luckily not sensitive enough to react to these when cooked.
Anyway, so tomato and eggplant added to the allergy list.
A really sweet thing Yoav did today that almost made me cry:
We were eating a late afternoon snack (the veggies didn't quite cut it for calories) of oatmeal and I, of course, finished first. Yoav looked in my bowl and said, "All gone ... Mommy" meaning that Mommy's is all gone. Then he took my spoon and scooped a spoonful from HIS bowl and put it in MY bowl!!!!!!!!!!!! In such a sweet, matter-of-fact way - mommy doesn't have more, I do, so we need to redistribute. He often shares in the form of let's say, eating raisins and he eats one, then puts one in my mouth, etc. But this struck me as a much more emotionally advanced form of food sharing.
Sorry for anyone reading today - it's a long one...
I also want to write about bathtime - we had quite a breakthrough (I hope)! Yoav sat in the tub today for about half an hour - first time since he first started standing in the tub, which I think was when he started walking, although I can't remember exactly when it started. Today when he was in the tub, he said he wanted his duck and I told him I didn't want to leave him in the tub standing up so did he want to come w/ me to get the duck or sit in the tub. He said he wanted to come w/ me, but then pretty much right away he said he had to pee so we went back to the bathroom. Then about 10 mins later, he sat down in the tub and said "duck"!! It was so cute that he sat down and THEN asked me for the duck. Guess he didn't want to get out again. Anyway, so I quickly got the duck and brought it to him and then he stayed sitting for the rest of the time he was in the tub, which was about half an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He played w/ his duck and two little cloth puppets we got from the library and his wooden boat (the animals were taking turns going on the boat and all (including Yoav) went through my leg tunnel quite a few times). We'll see what happens tomorrow, but it was a good step!
One more thing I thought of - I had a success also today w/ toothbrushing - we were listening to music and I played a Raffi song called "Brush Your Teeth" and when I saw Yoav listening and doing the toothbrush sign, I thought to grab a toothbrush and Yoav let me brush his teeth the whole time! In fact, when I finished before the song was over, he said more and opened his mouth. Sounds too crazy to believe, but it really happened - I'll try playing it again tomorrow when I need to brush his teeth and we'll see if it happens again :)
Jeepers - just thought of one MORE thing - Yoav made a tunnel today for the first time - he LOVES tunnels - he likes when I make a tunnel with his blocks over his train tracks so he can make his cars/trains go through. Today he did it himself - not over the tracks, but he made a tunnel - prior to this, he didn't understand how to put the top block on - he would put the horizontal top block on just one of the vertical blocks. I also included below a video of Yoav busily working on the tunnel!
Stacking blocks & cars
Building Tunnel / Concentration & Patience
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Finally, I want to include a response I posted to our AP group b/c a friend said she really liked it and was printing it out for her husband to read. So first the poster wrote:
Our 3-year-old DD is, for most of most days, an intelligent and sensitive joy. However, occasionally, and it seems more and more lately, we have run into some behavior that we just don't appreciate and don't know how to effectively deal with. Though there may be other things, most of these instances seem to involve something where she refuses to take responsibility for something she's done. E.g., she won't put things away after playing with them, won't pick up a plate after throwing it down because she was frustrated.And he said whatever the parents are doing which wasn't totally clear from the post, was leading to tantrums lasting 15-45 mins. I responded with:
Re: Learning Responsibility
It really sounds like you know the answer to this already.
There was a great "Daily Groove" sent out by Scott Noelle of EnjoyParenting.com a few days ago that EXACTLY answers this, so I'll just include it after my comments.
My view (from Scott Noelle, Alfie Kohn, and others) regarding this is that at her age it is VERY normal to have these sorts of behaviors (which sound to be frustration-related). As Kohn says, it's important to take a child's age into consideration.
Regarding putting things away, I personally do not think children should be made to put toys away. I think I orginally got this idea from Danielle Conger from the AlwaysUnschooled list. Cleaning up is our need, not our children's need (well, who knows, maybe some kids do actually want their toys to be cleaned up at the end of the day). My son (22 mos) sometimes gets disturbed about a smudge of dirt on is finger, but meanwhile, he's completely comfortable when he's pouring water from one pot to another and misses and gets water all over the place. I think that the best way to get kids to *help* cleanup is just to do it together - perhaps ask for help, but don't insist (just my view, of course, I'm don't mean this to sound like I'm telling you want to do).
Regarding throwing a plate when she's frustrated, well, I think the fact that she was frustrated is the key and that it's not reasonable to expect/want her to pick up the plate. Throwing the plate was her way of showing you that she's frustrated. So instead of asking/telling her to pick up the plate, I would just pick it up myself and try to focus on what led her to throw it in the first place. Perhaps try Active Listening (from Parent Effectiveness Training, by Thomas Gordon) - simply state whatever you think she's feeling - for example, "You're really frustrated because you didn't want me to cut up your food for you." in this case, if you know why she was frustrated, then this just shows her that you empathize and hopefully she'll skip the 15-45 min tantrum and move on, or if you don't know why she threw the plate, you can just say, "Looks like you're feeling really frustrated." and she'll either open up and tell you what's wrong, or maybe she won't but at least she'll hear your empathy, concern and love and again will hopefully skip the tantrum.
My son is only 22 mos, so a lot of these thoughts are somewhat academic. Let me know what you think.
Best,
Emily
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Here's the relevant info from
Scott Noelle's site:
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove
Needs and Desires, Part 3
by Scott Noelle, posted on 2006-09-07
(Continued from Part 2)
Understanding that desires are just as valid as needs, and looking for desires where you once saw only needs, makes it easier to practice the Art of Unconditionality.
That's because we tend to perceive needs as requirements (conditions) for well-being. For example...
A child makes a mess, and the parent thinks, "I feel frustrated because I need more order in the house." In other words, s/he believes s/he can't experience well-being until the mess is cleaned up.
Unconditionality means allowing yourself to connect with well-being under any conditions. It harnesses the power of the Law of Attraction, because once you're focused on well-being, you attract more well-being into your experience.
When you exude the energy of Well-Being as you focus on your desire, that energy is attractive to your child. As s/he aligns with that energy in you, s/he will be more likely to align with your desire as well.
But this is not a quick fix. Subtle energies take time to do their magic. Fortunately, you'll be connected with Well-Being the whole time. :)
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